As happy as the normal days could go, i find it always come to an end. where things never go the way you expected it to be, feeling rather helpless and lost. it's not like i ever expected anything, and i know i've done wrong this time, an apology isn't just enough..
There's nothing i could do now, nothing to expect, as i know, this could all be fated. Not to have any close friends, any girlfriends and such, i feel I'm missing a whole new world out there but, honestly, do i have to discover it all by myself? i hate being alone...
I think it's about time i gave up doing any good stuff for everyone else, about time i stop bothering about getting fame. what's all these point, fuck this.
I've planned a good $900 birthday bash but i think i'll just cancel it. I'm blacklisted by you afterall, i dont wanna even bother doing anything anymore. If i'm so easily blacklisted by you, then maybe i'm not worth being your friend either.
Like my friend who left me alone when she got attached. she told me all the bad stuff about being attached and such, she met her old classmate and he told her she liked her (oh yea they hadn't met for years btw), and after 2 days, they are together, so much for telling me about the bad stuff on R/S. SIGH!
and here i am, blinding just attempting to occupy myself by doing my best to make everyone else happy. so far, i should say, i'm a big failure, it's depressing, it's painful, but nobody wanna hear me out, when everyone got their own problems, they rant it out, but when it's my turn, everyone seems to disappear, like they never existed. F* this...
I might just lock myself at home forever, till i serve the nation in the army. who cares? i doubt anyone does.
Screw this..